?? (silentdefiance) wrote,
??
silentdefiance

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life..

It's been years since I have posted on here. I don't have a journal I regularly write in, so I figured coming on here would be the next to best thing.

Lately I have had a lot of things in my life that have not been the easiest to handle, but I've always managed to swallow my pride and try my best to deal with things. I've had to struggle with depression/anxiety for years.. and I always thought I would just outgrow it. Relationships have come and go, with their own painful scars that I will keep in the past but fail to forget. I recently have ended a relationship of almost 2 years. I don't know how to feel about it because I'm still rather numb. I even thought of possibly marriage at some point, but now I just feel silly for even considering it. Clearly I was not an option in this person's life. I just put myself out there and feel like I never want to ever again. He never really made any solid commitment to me, so I suppose I am the one that should have known better. I know there are decent people out there, but they just don't seem to cross my path. Instead, when an issue arises for them, they run. Maybe i'll update this thing again in another few years. But I am not broken just yet.
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